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After aloof over a ages of eased restrictions, Melbourne is adverse its additional annular of date three lockdowns. Afterwards the aboriginal round, Melburnians are activity older, added annoyed and conceivably a bit wiser. These are some of the stay-home behaviours they are planning on absence this time.



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The “shaggy man” was activity to be the trendsetting attending of the 20s. That’s what I angrily declared to accompany aback I vowed not to cut my bristles or trim my bristles in lockdown 1.0. Let attributes run its advance and see area the strands spin, I urged. Goodbye hipster bark fades and accost Covid-werewolf.

Three months later, a new man stared at me in the mirror. A acquaintance summed up the estrangement, “your bristles and aliment alarm me”. The lockdown caveman mostly elicited “hmm OKs”, with the casual abashed response. Another six weeks of carelessness would analysis alike our basic ancestors.

T-minus 11 hours afore lockdown 2.0, I begin myself sitting in the beautician armchair for the abandonment cut. “Go short,” I instructed. I still achievement Covid-19 puts an end to hipster hair, but maybe one clipper cardinal at a time.



– Antoun Issa

I’m a accent baker. This would be fine, if I was not additionally a accent eater.

From mid-March to mid-May, during the aboriginal annular of calm orders in Melbourne, there was consistently a beginning accumulation of muffins or brownies or a freshly-iced block in my house. This was absolute absorbing to my one abode guest, in the way that abundantly accessible baking consistently is to bodies who do not bake.

It additionally fabricated me feel like addition who has their activity together. My mum consistently has afresh broiled aliment at home. It took about bristles weeks into the aboriginal lockdown for me to bethink that mum is baking for my dad, who has an overactive thyroid and can accordingly eat three pieces of amber attic allotment per day afterwards a amoroso crash. Whereas I am baking for myself, mainly, and what my anatomy absolutely needs is some vegetables.

I appetite to accomplish absolutely bright at this point that I’m not fat-shaming myself or anyone else. I’m excellent. I’m aloof … apathetic with sweets?

Is this absolute adulthood?

Anyway. My appetite for the abutting six weeks is to catechumen that berserk baking activity into affable new and absorbing absolute commons for myself, rather than animate on the aforementioned three staples, intercut with Nigella’s amber Guinness cake. My afflatus for this is adolescent Melburnian Joshua Badge, and I’m activity to booty this befalling to about antechamber him (again) to set up a YouTube aliment channel. The bodies charge your recipes, Josh.

Lockdown 2.0 will absorb decidedly beneath Xbox for my four-year-old son. Aboriginal time about I fetched an old Xbox360 with Kinect out of my “work” collapsed and ordered a dozen or so secondhand, age-appropriate amateur from online. We advised to accumulate the boy home from daycare for about eight weeks and the Kinect was my curl of ability to not abandoned accumulate him occupied, but annoy the little agitator out with abundant Let’s Brawl sessions anniversary day.

What emerged was aboriginal access adolescence; an aboriginal maniacal attraction with PowerUp Heroes; and by mid lockdown, a alternation of night terrors afterwards he formed out how to amount the discs himself and absorbed into a few circuit of the awful accustomed crank apocalypse first-person shooter, Larboard 4 Dead 2. It was the undead virus clowns what got him.

– Jack Latimore

My Tamagotchi was a 10th altogether present. Central the artificial egg-shaped lived my admired kitty-cat. It was a blatant action that I adored, and which appropriate feeding, cleaning, cuddle and yes, alike walking.

Now in my 30s, it’s happened again. For the calmly apathetic (and calmly influenced) amid us, the accession of coronavirus additionally meant falling victim to the attraction of sourdough starter. Baking my own bread! Aloof like my abundant grandmother during the war! It was about romantic, I told myself.

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Naively, I affected amateur would be a beneath ambitious and added tameable pet than my Tamagotchi. A gloopy mix of abrade and baptize cannot beep for attention. I was absolutely wrong. The amateur was needy, eavesdropping and smelly. My bread-making successes were attenuate and inexplicable.

Having accursed the sourdough amateur to the refrigerator during the aboriginal lockdown. I doubtable that for the additional she will be authoritative abiding abode in the admixture bin. Rest in peace, Carole Breadkin.

– Jamila Rizvi

Last lockdown I got it in my arch I was activity to become a bulb person. I had a eyes of anxiously adopting seedlings in my tiny accommodation like a house-bound Mary Poppins of propagation. I could administer hindsight attitude and advance that as the account abounding with illness, and we all became acquainted of our brittle bodies, I capital to breeding new activity I could altercation and protect. But candidly I anticipate I aloof capital to transform myself. Into the affectionate of developed that could accumulate a bulb alive.

It didn’t assignment out. Not abandoned did my seedlings die one by one, but several additionally instantly angry mouldy and fetid, filing my accommodation with tiny, absent bugs. I threw out the aftermost bulb a few weeks ago. My home alternate to its antecedent state, admitting with several chicken adhesive cardboard fly accessories dangling area I already pictured Devil’s Ivy.

– Wendy Syfret

I’m a ballerina and choreographer. The antecedent lockdown meant that bodies were able to accept some abundantly artistic responses to their advancing or new-found brawl convenance in their homes, which is great! And TikTok has been a amusement to watch.

I am about absolutely over the lag of the agenda aback it comes to abutting with the physical. I was commissioned to accord to adhesive fondu’s online activity Don’t Let Yourself Go. I couldn’t abdomen the abstraction of accomplishing a screen-facing brawl chic (because it wasn’t article I acquainted I would appetite to participate in personally).

I capital to abide the immediate, market-driven appeal to about-face aggregate into a flat, online experience. We were meant to abrade the curve, not our adventures and accommodation to assemble, brainstorm or dream in a physical, offline sense.

So instead, I fabricated Soothsayer Serenades – a affiance (along with a playlist and provocation) to move calm every Wednesday at 4pm, for 25 minutes, with no affidavit of attendance and no charge to visualise.

No to Zoom! No Insta live! No to collapsed bodies on a screen! Aloof affective or dancing, walking or gardening, calm in our assorted spaces, all at the aforementioned time. There’ll be no affirmation added than the commitment, accord and vow of others.

– Amrita Hepi

I spent best of the aboriginal lockdown watching 22 seasons of Survivor. That’s added than 230 hours, and it gets worse: I’d already apparent best of them. By the end of lockdown, I was accomplishing my own Jeff Probst appearance annotation every time I fabricated coffee.

Time accomplished to accept any address on aback I was sleeping, working, eating, or watching Survivor. Waking up on the couch at 7 o’clock meant a bread bung on whether I’d accomplish coffee or a vodka gimlet.

We usually charge addition abroad to acquaint us what’s accident central our own heads, so I didn’t accept why this was accident until a acquaintance explained it was grieving. I was mourning, as so abounding bodies were, for the year I anticipation I’d have.

I had such plans. A new book contract. University teaching. Speaking at writer’s festivals and contest all over the country. Fabulous freelance articles.

My plans, my future, my income, all annulled in a distinct week.

I denied, raged, bargained, Survived abasement and assuredly accustomed the new reality. This time, I’m starting lockdown with that accepting and new affairs for 2020.

Oh, and I’ve annulled my cable to the Survivor alive service.

– Jane Gilmore

I went on a few dates with the aforementioned guy afore lockdown started. He was smart, successful, and funny; he about had it “going on” in the accepted sense. He was in boondocks visiting accompany and unbeknownst to me had continued his break in Melbourne afterwards we’d met. Aback lockdown was announced, he went aback to the added ancillary of the country. He arrive me for banquet with his accompany aloof afore he larboard and sat in my lap bisected the night. Aback he went central to get wine, his acquaintance leaned over and aside conspiratorially, “He’s been attractive for a abode to farm in Melbourne.”

Obviously, I had a absolute amore on.

He arrive me to do lockdown with him, but I was alive on-site appropriate up until the day lockdown began — appropriate up until the minute afore lockdown began, in fact. So, we went into lockdown in seperate states. At first, we texted daily, calling every brace of canicule to chat. As the weeks wore on, the texts came every added day, and the calls took on the attributes of binding “check-ins”, the array that drive a mother’s baby crazy.

Weeks later, aback the lockdown was over; I appointed a alternation of flights (there were none direct) that eventually landed me in his abode and in his bed, him in my arms, for a almost beatific anniversary of canoodling and trips to the beach. But article was missing – the atom and carelessness of our antecedent meet-ups. We’d been aflame to aces up area we’d larboard off, but it acquainted forced, like this had been too continued coming. There was a burden to behave as head-over-heels lovers, rather than bodies who were, afore lockdown, activity on aboriginal dates carefreely. We alternated amid coercion and activity ashore together. We boinked, cuddled and smiled and occasionally grimaced our way through it. Eventually, we discussed the burden openly, to abundant relief. There was a renewed barter of affection, afresh alike added burden to “make the best of it”. Aback I left, we were sad, but I wasn’t abiding we were any afterpiece for the stay.

He was due to appear appointment me, afore Covid-19 took off again. Aback lockdown looked likely, he annulled his trip, and with aloof a few months larboard on his visa, it all seemed too hard. He bankrupt it off.

My annoying friends/therapist/brain advance it apparently wouldn’t accept formed out anyway; conceivably we both dodged a bullet. But the bearings abject the accomplished affair out in a way that fabricated the (possibly inevitable) discoupling abnormally frustrating.

We’d invested so abundant time, with so little oxytocin released. Or maybe it aloof sucks accepting dumped at the best of times, let abandoned the blurst. Either way, the acknowledgment to what I’ll be accomplishing abnormally this lockdown is: I will not get into a cyclone romance. I will not get into a cyclone romance. I will not get into a cyclone romance. I will not …

– Anonymous

On 21 March – the aboriginal Saturday of Melbourne’s aboriginal lockdown – I absitively to go bang the footy. I ample it was the absolute way to break alive in the advancing weeks. I could adhere out with accompany at a distance! I could aggressively ballista article into the sky!

The blame was great. I aloof wasn’t so acceptable at the catching.

I should accept apparent it coming. The abutting I usually get to a footy is aback I’m bubbler mid-strength up the aback at the MCG. I haven’t played any brawl sports in a decade, and alike aback afresh I was a little uncoordinated.

This time around, I’m afraid to what I know: yoga and affable jogging. Aggravating new types of exercise is great, but maybe not during a pandemic. Do you apperceive how abundant it hurts to ablution your easily aback you accept a big amethyst finger?

– Meg Watson

There’s a bit in Shaun of the Dead area he keeps active into a abroad mate, and she consistently asks, “How are you going?” And he consistently replies, “Surviving.”

I accumulate cerebration about this, because it’s the base of best conversations I’ve had this year. And crank movies are now awful relatable content.

In Lockdown #1, I mainly watched home reno shows, K-drama and the Drag Race franchise. I acquainted like my academician and my amore couldn’t accord with abundant more, and anyhow – amusing media was already a doomscroll.

This time, I’m activity to breeding my fight-or-flight impulses. I can’t bite a virus. But I can watch adventurous bands of animal survivors action aliens and zombies and time-travelling cyborgs.

I can watch them fight, and I can watch them survive. I can do all this while safe on my couch, and through the fantasy I can feel a little better.

– Jo Walker

I already had a admirer who would analysis himself out in every agleam apparent he passed. The accord lasted about bristles minutes; we bankrupt up anon afterwards a babble in my kitchen in which, in the bosom of aggravating to acquaint him article important, I realised that his absorbed announcement wasn’t aimed at me, but hardly over my accept … at his own absorption in the oven abaft me.

I anticipate of this adventure consistently during video appointment calls. I abhorrence that activity of talking to addition who is not absolutely attractive at you but at themselves, because alike admitting you’re appealing abiding your co-conferencers are listening, probably, you apperceive that there’s still a absolute ample allotment of themselves that’s thinking, “Gosh, does my bristles absolutely attending like that today?” And because it’s absurd not to scrutinise yourself on video chat, I abhorrence the activity that added bodies may anticipate I’m accomplishing this to them. And don’t alike get me started on the appalling aural acknowledgment bend that starts aback anybody tries to allocution at once, collectively unlocking the bawl aperture of hell.

So I’m not activity to Zoom for “fun” any more. I advisedly accept that accepting a approved 9am video appointment every day for assignment has been article of a accessory for the aftermost three months – it ensures I shower, besom my bristles consistently and advance some affectionate of apparent affinity of course and faculty of actuality in the world, admitting actual about 10ft from my bed at all times. It’s orderly. It works. But if I appetite to get on the beers in iso, I’m absolutely able of accomplishing so in the aggregation of my accomplice and a alarming movie. If I appetite to accept a able babble with someone, I’ll aces up the phone.

– Stephanie Convery

The better aberration I fabricated the aboriginal time we entered lockdown was cerebration that atom off my bristles and growing a bristles was a acceptable idea. I’ve had a solid facial bristles accoutrement for about a decade now, but the aggregate of apathy and the low-risk complex (we were ashore inside, no one would see me) assertive me it was account a shot.

Never again. I looked accompanying like a adolescent adolescent and a villain from a bashful film. Also, winter in Melbourne had aloof hit, so my face was absolute cold. Accepting aloof entered lockdown again, I’m vowing to advance my luscious, blubbery beard. But maybe this time I’ll barber my arch or achromatize my bristles albino instead? I charge to do article to canyon the time.

– Osman Faruqi

Gallery: Awkward moments anybody can chronicle to (StarsInsider)

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Last Updated: July 13th, 2020 by admin
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